What you need to know before you THROW IN THE TOWEL!

My wife and I are acquainted with some young couples who are experiencing conflict, drama, morass and literal crowds amassing on their LAST NERVE.  I am in my second marriage and would have been well-served to have heard this some years ago.  By the time the cavalry arrived with help and ammunition, I had been beaten senseless and left for dead.

My wife and I have experience as therapists, but for many, engaging with a therapist is not something they are likely to do.  Some couples feel that therapy is an intrusion on their privacy.  Unfortunately, this avoidance of intrusion can be indicative of other serious issues occurring.

Many couples go through a similar set of issues and get caught by the same strongholds.  If they choose to remain quiet, they will succumb to the pull to break-up surrounding couples everywhere.  Marriage is a gauntlet that we want to run and succeed, but it is daunting.  Here is a list of difficulties that you need to be aware of and prepare for (for (with your spouse!) to carefully avoid and/or work through:

1. Young couples are almost always financially insecure – a fact that is certainly unavoidable  especially in a post-COVID economy.   FACTOID: Two of the top issues of disagreement between couples are money and sex. 
2. News Flash! Fellas, Your wife is probably more emotionally mature than you are.  Don’t be offended!  This just is. 
3. One means of getting past several of these stuck points is to ask yourself: “What can I do to help get my spouse through this impasse?  Hint: Empathy will help you much more than  revenge
4. Couples have enough difficulty getting through a barrage of familial relationships and influences, including the famous “when are you going to have kids?”  See issue 1). 
5. This becomes compounded when in the midst of these named problems, they discover that they are indeed pregnant.  Indeed some are in the midst of marital turmoil when the mystical “make-up sex” finally results in conception and the underlying difficulties are unresolved.  I have even seen circumstances where a second child is conceived and the result is more pressure on an already pressurized environment. 

There is more that I will publish soon – Know this, that has not occurred for lack of love.  It happens due to lack of understanding, patience and even maturity.  It can be endured, sustained even enjoyed with prayer, and commitment to the relationship.  You can do it!  Stay tuned!